Thursday, September 13, 2012

No Writing Until I Find A Cocktail Dress

I’ve been sidetracked lately.  I haven’t written, blogged, visited the blogs I follow – nothing.  Why?  Because I have nothing to wear!  My friend is getting married in 9 days.  And I have nothing to wear.  Yes, I have clothes in my closet but those that I would have chosen to wear no longer fit as well as they did last year.  Actually, I have two dresses that might still fit but they are also black.  Black happens to be my comfort color so approximately 90% of my wardrobe is black.  My girlfriends tell me I shouldn’t wear black for the wedding; that I should instead find something to wear that has color.

I’ve been trying, but that’s not working out either. I’ve gone to a few stores and everything I find that might possibly fit is either hideous or so outside of my non-existent budget that I want to scream.   The other problem is that when I do come across something that may fit and possibly not burn a hole in my wallet, it turns out to be too slinky or inappropriate and built for someone who is a foot taller and has breasts.
I’m desperate! At this point, I need not one, but three Fairy Godmothers to show up and make me a fabulous dress. But I don’t want just any Fairy Godmother. 

I hope that Flora, Fauna and Merryweather show up and make me a dress – so long as it isn’t pink.  I’m sure Sleeping Beauty won’t mind since after all, she’ll be sleeping. 

She’s really lazy and after the divorce she moved back in with the Godmothers.  Between you and me, I think the Prince got everything in the divorce settlement.

But in this modern age of technology, waiting for the proper planetary alignment so I can send the Godmother’s a magical message won’t do.  I don’t know their Facebook page or email address but thankfully, I found them on Twitter:  @3badassfairies.  I’m going to hit them up on Twitter now.