Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Don't Want To Write

I don’t have anything to write about. It’s not writer’s block. This is different. It’s a combination of not having a topic to write about and also a lack of desire to write - about anything.

I have loads of ideas which get added to my idea file with a page or two of writing to go with it. But to me all this adds up to, is more started yet-unfinished projects. My mind can come up with lots of little scenarios, prompts, etcetera. Yet it doesn’t go further than that.

It’s like there are all these remnants of fabric spread out on a table. Some are mere inches apart, while others are a foot apart or even farther. How do I stitch them together? Clearly, I need a needle and thread. If the remnants of fabric are my ideas, then the fillers - the parts that tie the story together, would be the needle and the thread. And this is where I run into trouble. My difficulty lies in the tying it all together and not only making it fit but making it seamless. This is why I collect ideas and writing prompts and not finish any of my projects.

Identifying the problem is the first step. I understand where I’m going wrong but I suck at fixing it, so I can’t move forward. Every time I try to work on it, what I write is pure drivel. So I stop writing for a few days because I’m so disgusted with the poor quality of my work that I choose not to write. This is then followed by self beratement and insecurity.

But today is slightly different. I really don’t have anything to write about and I’m not having any negative thoughts or feeling down about the possibility of ever finishing my novel. Really.

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