Saturday, April 21, 2012

Xiuhcoatl

Lately my blog has been neglected because my attention was directed elsewhere.  The first thing I had to deal with was the issue of an electrical shortage in my kitchen.  I wasn’t sure if the electrical problem affected the entire house, but thankfully it was confined to only the kitchen.  Now that the matter has been resolved and my pockets have gained another hole, I can relate to you what is currently troubling me.
 
You see, during the winter I gained a new roommate.  A squirrel decided that my home is quite suitable for her to nest in.  She climbed atop my porch and squeezed herself in between the roof and the asphalt shingles.  Instead of a smooth row of shingles, now I have a lifted section that resembles a hump.  Every morning when I leave for work, I turn back and glance at my house.  I love my house.  It wasn’t easy to buy her on my own and with the financial crisis it hasn’t been easy to keep her.  So, I’m very happy to have her.
 
Here I am looking back at my house and there. She. Is!  She was perched on top of the porch, probably on her way to work too (foraging for nuts and such, which is probably harder work than what I do).  I stopped in my tracks and so did she.  But she gave me this “Oh, no you didn’t just come out of my house!” look.  and I in turn shouted at her:  “How dare you move in to my house!”  That’s right, I actually yelled at a squirrel outside in the street. 

The face-off began and I think that she believes she stared me down, but you see it takes me an hour and a half to get to work every day.  If I miss the bus, I’ll be very late.  So I left and rushed to work trying to make up for lost time.  Since then I haven’t seen her, but I’ve heard her scratching on the walls.  I suspect that her nest is deep inside the porch on the other side of my bedroom wall.  And who knows how much damage she’s caused?  I don’t even know if she has babies in there.
 
Considering the number of holes in my pockets, I don’t have the capital to make repairs at the moment.  Every time I think of the dreaded squirrel, $$$ signs float before my eyes – $$$ signs that I don’t have.  First, I have to evict her, repair the damage and ensure she doesn’t return next winter to do it again.  All I think about (at least when I'm at home) is her.  Since she’s occupying so much time in my mind, I’ve decided to name her.  I’ve combed through the baby name sites and no name I saw captured what she’s doing to me.  But I didn’t give up and continued my search until finally I found it.  The name:  Xiuhcoatl.   The meaning: Weapon of Destruction.  Perfect.
 
I wonder if Xiuhcoatl is trying to find a way to evict me – now that would be funny.  But I tell you this, that Bi – I mean rodent – is going down!

11 comments:

  1. With a name like Xiuhcoatl she's probably slithering around planning doom and chaos.

    All jokes aside, you need to get to it soon. There were a couple of squirrels nesting in my brother's house, and they were chewing wires and everything else they could.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looking into it – will do my best to be humane but she’s starting to piss me off.

      Delete
  2. I hope you can get rid of that squirrel soon :) I like that neat name, very clever!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man! I'm so sorry... But entertaining, nonetheless ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Would you like some squirrel soup? Nah, I couldn’t do it. I think they’re too cute. That is until I hear her scratching at my walls; then I want to start the pot boiling.

      Delete
  4. Stupid Squirrel!! ;) hee...it's not funny, but you tell a good story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that if I give her a lease and charge her rent, she’ll leave.

      Delete
  5. Squirrel problems are not good... we get possum such problems here in Australia.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Possums are scary - their teeth and claws are longer than a squirrers. There was one lounging in my driveway last year. Luckily, he went away without any trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great name! I am sorry about the problem! Is there a way, when you see her leave, to put something over the hole, or screen it, so she can't get back in? Then if you here other noises, you know if there is babies?

    ReplyDelete